Alex- The little cat that decided to throw in a desk job and leave her home town of Sydney to snowboard in Japan. She’s a writer and adventurer that seeks steep mountains, deep waters, rowdy nights and friendly cats.

Alex has been chasing the wilderness since 2014 and has no plans on stopping.

Little Cat has recently completed a season at Thredbo Resort as a snowboard instructor. When you spend a season at a ski resort- especially as an instructor- you are sure to witness some crazy, ridiculous and most of the time stupid things people get up to.

Here she shares some of the most stupid things she’s witnessed. Definitely a good laugh, check it out:

The Australian ski slopes are now officially closed for the year, but oh my, how the memories remain. Memories of 40 year olds freaking out on their first chairlift. Children straight-lining it down runs only to be stopped short by hitting a snow gun. Glorious skier double ejections. Epic snowboard scorpions.

It seemed like people discovered new, creative ways to hurt themselves every day.

And most of the time, us ski and snowboard instructors were there to see it. We spend a great deal of time on the beginner slopes and witness first hand the snow antics that our guests get up to. Then we’ll run on back to the locker room to tell our friends about it.

Now it’s time to share. Behold, 15 of the most stupid things I’ve seen on the snow:

CHAIRLIFT CHAMPIONS

If you ever want to see a grown man or woman absolutely panic, put them on a chairlift for the first time. For instructors, chairlifts are second nature, but I understand they are very alien for newbies. This big, mechanical structure that is moving fast will lift me up the hill and then I have to get off? With a snowboard on one of my feet? Within a time limit? Surrounded by other people? WHAT IS THIS TORTURE DEVICE.

1. Boom gate stuck between the legs. You know those electronic gates you pass through before the chair? One of my adult students didn’t get through fast enough and was trapped with that metal pole up in her nether regions. And she wasn’t the most flexible of creatures so I had to take off her board and get the gate re-opened, holding up about 40 people in the process.

2. Taken out from behind by the chair. Honestly, it was like that scene in Austin Powers with the slowly impending roller machine. She was moving forward at a snail’s pace, the chair was creeping up behind her, she was half way to the goal when BAM that chair mowed her down and she was underneath it. The worst part? This happened in the very same lesson as the above…to the same person.

3. Loving the chairlift a little too much. I was chilling with my instructor friend Charlotte on the beginner chair during training, and we had a skier punter along for the ride. We got to the top, popped off and looked around. “Wait, what happened to that lady?” We turned around to see her still on the chairlift, having freaked out, missed the run off, and was cruising back down like nothing had happened.

FASHION F-UPS

Nearly every day I saw something that made me giggle enough I was thankful for wearing a face mask. People wear things that are just plain impractical. And they think they look daaaayum good.

4. Too-tight pants. Not recommended for your first snowboard lesson. Chances are that at some point when skating with one foot out, you will do the splits. One of my students discovered this in the first 10 minutes of the lesson when her pants ripped from one knee, up to her crotch and right over to the other knee. But she kept on going like a trooper…and continued to have a bad time. Because she was the same person in #2 and #3.

5. I don’t need snowboard boots! Snowboard rental is pretty simple. Board and boots, please. But still people mess this up, and we have had people turn up to a snowboard lesson in sneakers, hiking boots and even ski boots.

6. I don’t need snow pants! The amount of times I have seen people wearing jeans on the beginner slope blows my mind. Jeans are made out of cotton. Cotton is a no-go on the snow because it holds water so you’re guaranteed to get wet and cold quickly. Especially because our jeans-wearing friends are usually the type to be falling on their asses a lot.

7. I don’t need gloves or goggles! Did you know it’s cold in the snow and your extremities get cold the fastest? Then wear gloves. Did you know it sometimes snows in the snow (even in Australia)? Then wear goggles. This has been a snow public service announcement.

8. I can wear a bike helmet! Nope. Wrong sport, buddy.

9. One big costume party. I’ve seen people dressed as vikings, pirates, different coloured crayons, Toy Story characters and a thousand different animals. Sometimes it’s a little face-palm worthy, especially when beginners are getting their little onesie tails wet, but in general life is a party so I’m cool with it.

10. Butt pads on the outside. What was this guy thinking? Wearing these under your pants is embarrassing enough without announcing their presence to the whole world.

JeremyskisJERRY HAS BOARD PROBLEMS

Some guests think that snowboards and bindings are purely designed to mess with them and make them question their very existence.

11. Bindings clearly wrong, not brain. So I was taking a first-timer lesson with a dude and three of his friends. I had just introduced myself, explained how snowboarding and their gear works and asked them to put one foot into the binding. This dude is standing in front of his board, with the toe-side facing him. He pipes up, “I can’t put it on. Can we make my bindings face the opposite way?” I walk over to his board, spin it 180 degrees. Problem solved. “Oh…”

12. High-backs go on your toes, right? We’ve had a few noobs think that folding their high-backs onto the tops of their feet is a nice, secure way to ride. Right, guys? Right? No.

13. Home-made snowboard. One of my mates had a first-time student in Japan bring his own board. All the way from Australia. That he had made himself. From about 20kg of metal. It acted as a great leg weight but that was about it.

 

NON-RIDING RIDICULOUSNESS

Sometimes people who aren’t even snowboarding or skiing amaze me on the hill.

14. Picnic on the snow. Please don’t trudge up our groomed runs so that 50 people on the hill have to avoid you and your family before unfurling a picnic blanket and plonking yourself down on the snow for a spot of lunch. Are you creating a new extreme sport?

15. Photo sessions. I’ve seen wedding-catalogue photos being taken on the snow but they were kindly off to one side. And my god I’ve seen a lot of action selfies and videos taken by riders side-slipping like a boss on their first day. But I think the worst was a couple standing in the middle of our beginner slope, with someone taking a photo of them kissing, while one of their friends crouched down behind them and threw snow into the air. On a bluebird day. I just…can’t even.

You see why we really become snow instructors? We get endless entertainment! But all jokes aside, it was a fantastic season and we had a lot of awesome guests come along that made our days and efforts worthwhile. And there’s nothing like seeing a kid’s face the first time they see snow.

Thanks to all the staff and instructors that made this season a blast.

Cheers,

Little Cat

Like stories from Little Cat? Check out her blog here: http://www.bigworldlittlecat.com/